As I prepare for writing once again after being on a hiatus for a very long time I sat down and reflected on so many things. How when we go through our process of what we call awakening and how most identify with waking up in their own format. Mine was different I at first had long forgotten how aware i was when i was a lil child the magic and wonder i witness and how i coped with things. I felt isolated not because it was me hiding my light it was how destructive the planet was I felt like a observer behind some one way screen i could see outside and look at myself but at the same time i felt shattered into millions of energy particles. Have you ever felt like this whole but not? what an interesting feeling. I couldn't ever articulate to anyone what i seen with my lens nor could i fully inner stand what had happened. My awareness what opened but limited and it bothered me how i could see...and hear but not speak up about it. not at that time at least I made myself my own best friend and innocently played with fairies.
There is so much we come in here with not remembering and you know as ive grown and done away with the reversals the temporary experiences of trauma at any moment of my life I learned to be the strength all on my own. Truth is no one has there energy perfectly intact we all came here with at least 8% reversals in a fallen system that looshes off itself and its up to us to reactivate our DNA....more on this in another blog at another time.
I felt speaking up about who i was and some of the temporary experiences ive worked through so you would have a better innerstanding of who i was and why i came here. I am still working through kinks in my energy but nonetheless I have had some of the most traumatic experiences i have learned to manage and some heal in order to change how i experienced my reality..
One of the biggest things i had to over come was guilt, shame and letting everyone control who i was as a person. I honestly dont really remember being afraid persay it was the powerful under current of the guilt shame and feeling fragmented that was the main narrative in my life. About 25 years ago or so was my first extreme experience as an adult having someone who i thought loved me violating my own rights hugely. Yes i had other things before this but because i wasn't equipped with how to handle this I ended up with more trauma then what should of occured and i allowed it. I had no boundaries, and left myself open to anxiety because i wasnt meeting my needs on a conscious level. I felt like i was going backwards not forwards i went to several therapists and not one could get me to core issues. i felt like i ran in circles and not making not one bit of sense. I am owning this part of my experience because its who i was at that time.
I moved on since but i have felt like since ive become and experienced person in truama, PSTD, gas lighting, Narcism, anxiety and abuse. it all starts as a energy in motion and manifests into physical cause and affect. The only way we can heal ourselves is by taking the energetic power away from the root. this is why i became a healer, and ascension guide. I dont actually heal i provide assistance to other who may or may not realize they have issues. most people think and not really feel. Our past lives all are key as well and you know if someone had told me when i was a child to have up boundaries and let them move depending on the situation i would handled things perhaps differently but i wont know i can only assume. With all the craziness that is going on things are becoming unhidden and what we once thought was normal well turns out it wasnt. I knew when i was a child that things were far worse then we were led to believe.
I'll leave you with this.....
no matter how bad my life got at any moment I constantly reminded myself I was a good human
, and that no one could define me. Same goes for each one of you. if you dont know what lurkes in your consciousness how can you really tell? what your experiences are they dont define you, yes most definitely face them and embrace but also dont trade your strength as a soul for new agey love and light fluff either. we mustn't think or feel by just loving and accepting that part it will just go away. I would changing our perspective on it will and how we manage it not only as a boundary but also how we chose to move forward past its energetic hold on us.
I thank you for taking a moment out to read this I appreciate it! perhaps something may resonate maybe not all in all this past 8 years has been so revealing to me much more then i ever felt possible.
you are a powerful being of consciousness never forget that
Love,
Sophialina
© Intuitive regenerative wellness 2021
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